So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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