Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
