you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
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