there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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