Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
