your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
just tell him i said nine months
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
