i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My vagina is officially offended.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
