she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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