honey bunches of taint.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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