Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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