Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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