Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
