I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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