I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
