Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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