Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
