i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
