she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I want a musical about memes.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
