Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
