So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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