there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
