dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
