I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
