he wants to bone in the snuggie
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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