I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
