so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Oh god it's open bar.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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