so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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