Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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