Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
