oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
