I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize