Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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