how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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