SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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