I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
