I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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