hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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