She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
