I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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