I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
