I must be too annoying 4 u.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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