I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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