people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
No subtext here. People are naked.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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