omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
