i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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