She is in my trunk
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
