1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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