Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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