dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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