well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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