i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
