i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
