shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
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You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
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Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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