The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
