I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize