i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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