tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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