And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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