my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
