NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
