Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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