what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
